Ten Minutes in Hell

I viewed the following video this morning on Huffington Post and am sharing it, along with some insights here with you now.

Things to keep in mind as you view this video:

• The bus-monitor in this video is an adult who has volunteered to help keep order and peace on the bus. Presumably she is acting with the authority of the school and parents. Her testimony of events would carry a weight of credulity normally not assigned to an adolescent by adult authority figures.

• The woman on the bus possesses the emotional, psychological and spiritual development of an adult. She is a widow, a mother, a grandmother and has years of experience to help her cope with the assaults she suffers on this bus ride. A child or adolescent does not possess this experience, skill set, or adult level of development to help him/her cope with such a barrage of abuse.

• The woman on this video can quit in her role as a volunteer bus monitor and never have to endure this level of abuse again. A student must suffer this abuse twice per day, nine months of the academic year, throughout junior high school and high school years.


WARNING: This video contains offensive language and is disturbing to view. Unlike you, students are not free to “turn this off,” many endure similar treatment on a daily basis.





THE GOOD NEWS: You can do something to make a real difference.

Here are hyperlinks to various Anti-Bullying Organizations. Find out more information, become informed and personally involved. You can do this, you can make a difference, and you can be a voice for the voiceless now and in your community.

• Bully Police USA
• Bullying UK
• Bullying. No Way!
• Great Schools
• International Bullying Prevention Association
• National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP)
• National Association of Secondary School Principals (NASSP)

• National Bullying Prevention Center (A Project of PACER Center)
• Olweus Bullying Prevention Program
• PFLAG: Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesibians and Gays
• Schools Anti Bullying Web Gateway
• Stomp Out Bullying
• Stopbullying.gov
• Striving To Reduce Youth Violence Everywhere (STRYVE)
• Social Web Watch

The Times, they are a change'n

Last night I received a message from a former parishioner at Holy Family Church in Visalia. The parishioner informed me that the Visalia City Council was about to pass a resolution commending and honoring the LGBT Pride Parade in downtown Visalia.
A Parade may seem like a small thing, especially in an Election year, but it represents a tectonic shift in hearts and minds on Main Street.


I had the honor and privilege of serving as the Pastor of Holy Family Church in Visalia from June 1993 through April 2008. An official directive regarding the education and formation of priests I once read as a seminarian stated that a priest was to be a catalyst for his parish. A catalyst is something that changes, without being changed.


As I reflect back on twenty-three years of service in active ministry I realize how absurd the idea of a priest as “a catalyst” is really. If you remain unchanged after hearing confessions, where people open their hearts in confidence and reveal to you what they reveal to no other person.


Parishioners opened their hearts to me; I am still in awe at the capacity that the human heart possesses to suffer in silence, not for a week, or a month, but for years and decades. Some of those parishioners were LGBT people. I did the best I could to counsel and guide them over those years. I recall some happy breakthroughs, reconciled family members and healed lives.


I also recall reading an Opinion to the Editor piece in the Visalia Times Delta in the 1990’s. Someone had written regarding an outrage against the LGBT minority in Visalia. Honestly, I don’t remember what the particular issue was per se there have been so many injustices over the years that frankly, it is impossible to remember them all. What I do vividly recall is that the author of the Op-Ed piece asked, “Where are the clergy’s voices?”


Those words stung at my conscience as I quietly ate my breakfast at Carrows restaurant on Mooney Blvd. across the street from Visalia Community College. I thought of all the “good” reasons why I could not publicly speak out. The work I had done and was doing with parishioners. Working to change the Church from within. These were subjects that came up periodically when speaking with other priests.


Frankly, there was also the question of my life. I had what one friend called “a recession-proof job” with health care benefits, retirement benefits, one month paid vacation per year, two weeks private retreat per year, paid housing, an expense account, a flexible schedule, and I really loved and enjoyed my work.


There was something I read that also caused me much thought:

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

-Elie Wiesel


My parents left everyone and everything behind when they left Cuba, so that my brother and I could live in freedom. All of these thoughts and more importantly the flesh and blood human beings who I was privileged to serve over the years changed me. When the late bishop John T. Steinbock directed us to promote “Yes on Prop 8” I could not. It was immoral. It was wrong on every level. It remains a discriminatory law motivated at best by ignorance and fear, and at worst by hatred and bigotry.


So when I heard that the city of Visalia (in the heart of the “Reddest” part of California) had voted to pass a resolution honoring the LGBT Pride Parade in downtown Visalia; I smiled. I smiled for all the good people I was privileged to know and serve. I smiled for Eric James Borges a 19 year old who took his own life after a lifetime of suffering from the same hatred and bigotry that inspired Prop 8. I smiled for Robin McGhee, a professor in Visalia who founded GetEQUAL to push for Full Federal Equality for LGBT Americans, using the principles of Non-violent Direct Action taught by Gandhi and Dr. King.



Visalia may be a small town (by California standards) but it makes up in spirit for what it lacks in physical size. That spirit and the hope it engenders are opening hearts and minds throughout our nation and our world. It represents what is most noble in the human heart and mind. It is why we will not lose.

"LOVE and do what you will." -Saint Augustine

The Day (and work) after the "End of DADT" Celebrations

As I drove home during LA rush hour traffic I was listening to National Public Radio news. The news commentator observed that the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Michael Mullen had been an important advocate for the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, especially in his testimony on several occasions last year on Capitol Hill.


At a news conference held on the day the repeal took effect, Politico reports
the following comments by Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta and Admiral Mullen,


“Today is really about every man and woman who serves this country, every man and woman in uniform, regardless of how they define themselves,” Mullen said. “Tomorrow they’ll all get up, they’ll all go to work, and they’ll all be able to do that work honestly.”



Asked about how the military can guard members of the military against harassment and violence against gays, Panetta noted that the military has a “zero tolerance” with regards to harassment and that military leaders must be on the lookout for potential problems that arise.




I think that the Admiral’s words are the clearest expression of what is at the heart of our struggle for Full Federal Legal rights and protection. It really is simply about people, ALL people including LBGT people, being able to get up in the morning, go to work and live their lives (and relationships) in peace. Without harassment and violence.


Yesterday, we took a significant step forward towards that ultimate goal. It was an imperfect step, transgendered people are not protected by the repeal of DADT and gay/lesbian service member’s spouses/domestic partners are not granted the same rights and privileges of their heterosexual counterparts. However, it was a historic step forward, not only for the Armed Forces and their members but also, for American society.


When I arrived home I found the following article posted to my Facebook wall,


Jamey Rodemeyer, 14, Dies in Suicide


Another tragic reminder that bullying against gay youth is a continuing problem comes with the suicide of a 14-year-old boy, Jamey Rodemeyer, who had asked for help repeatedly.


The repeal of DOMA and the passage of ENDA are necessary and important next steps in our struggle for Full Federal Legal Rights. However, while we work to recapture the House of Representatives and secure victories in November of 2012 that will make such legislation possible, we can and must work on the grassroots level to advance Anti-Bullying laws.


You can be part of this effort by attending your local PTA meetings, School Board meetings and becoming informed, involved and advocate for Anti-Bullying Laws. Write local officials letters, with a postage stamp, members of Congress actually pay much more attention to real letters from constituents than to E-mails.


Anti-Bullying laws will help to avoid tragedies like the one posted above. Remember how you felt when you were very young and first discovered that you were “different?” Remember how alone and powerless you felt? You can be a voice for the voiceless. You can personally make a real and immediate difference in this battle. Finally, Anti-Bullying laws will help all the “letters” in our alphabet soup.